Ok, I am not good at tech stuff & tried to see where I left off in 2011 and unless it is somewhere I don't know to click I am stating with my brother being in the hospital.....I need to write it all out I was going to write a book but will practice here, bear with me.

I went up to see my brother the next day, Jason did also but he was early in the morning so I missed seeing him but my brothers room (Gary) was empty he was downstairs getting tests done so I went into an alcove off the hall & within minutes he was wheeled down the hall with his wife & 18 yr old son.
I looked at him as he came near me & his face lit up & he smiled & I saw surprise on his face....I said yeah I know you thought you died & went to heaven right? because the older I get the more I look like my Mother & he chuckled.

After he was settled in his wife Tammy said to go on in that he would love to see me & we had a good visit, he was determined to "fight this" & while we were talking he groaned in pain while trying to turn & Tammy told him he couldn't turn over & that the Dr had just told her his tail bone was broken (tears) I remember the look in his eyes when he heard that....like what? I didn't fall but I knew because his bones were full of cancer.
It all started the week before when he couldn't get up to go to work, he was always hurting he said but "hey I gotta work" so Tammy made him go in & a few days later ran tests & found cancer through, it was lung cancer so far along it was all through his body,the Dr was shocked he had worked that week & he gave him 6 months to a year .

Being the oldest girl I was always taking care of my siblings and fell right back into that role when he got home I was cooking for them and doing anything I could my son had called back the day after the hospital Sept 24th to see if I saw him & we talked a few minutes & I didn't always tell him I loved him when we talked but hearing what was happening to my brother like most people reality sets in that I may not be here much longer if my youngest sibling can die being 42 years old with a 6 year old girl at home & a 16 year old girl, so I said "I love you" to Jason & he said "love you to Ma".

just a note when I break down & cry while writing this I will just type tears so if I leave a post half way through that is why.

Anyway we spent time with Gary & Tammy, he was able to get up & walk because the pain was bad he had to move but within a week he was on a walker to get up & move one afternoon it was so nice outside sunny & warm for Oct. so Tammy & I went out to the table in the yard....for support for what she was going through & to talk on our own but Gary was determined he was going to & he & Steve came out & he used his walker to go down the steps of the porch & came out to the table & we laughed & joked & just had a good visit.

I was busy making double dinners when I cooked for us to take some to Gary & Tammy as she was doing so much for him & her Mother yet.

It was Oct.2nd we were in bed fairly early from all the running & cooking I guess & I think I had just fallen asleep and the phone rang.....I think I just let it ring thinking it was Jason again wanting something, $10.oo or a ride the next day but after it disconnected it rang again so I got up to get it. it was 10:15 pm the voice said this is (a name) & she said she was a nurse at Spectrum Health and that Jason had been hurt, I am thinking great now what did he do? wink at a girl & anger her boyfriend again? or probably said something flippant to the wrong person again & been beaten up.

He lived in a bad area so it could be anything but she brought my attention back when I said "yeah?" like what now & she said Becky (his live in girlfriend) asked me to call & I think I said something like "yeah?" again & she said it is a significant injury........significant oh how I hate that word now but at the time I'm thinking a broken leg or something & he doesn't have insurance so it is one more thing he needs bailed out of.
Steve was awake now & I told him & he said "so?" what do we do about it? I told him I don't know but that she "said it was significant" & that we should go up there Steve hates to be woken up & he didn't want to go but something in me was telling me we needed to go & I told him so.
He grudgingly got up & dressed & we were there 15 minutes to down town & we got there before 10:30 pm I think it was half way there that I started to shake, just a little tremble inside me that I couldn't stop.

As we checked in & told them our name Becky came to us & the nurse right behind her & told us to follow her & she took us to a intern, he said that Jason was in emergency surgery & that the Neurosurgeon would come & talk to us as soon as he could & they took us down the back halls of the hospital & Neurosurgeon is running through my head.....I didn't even want to ask him why surgery or what was wrong with him or what happened.
Tears, more later