group over cause?

Lately I have been wondering when it came to honoring the "group" over the cause they fight for? yes it has been personal as I see this vet who couldn't use his plane ticket....well I'm think wow (& yes it's good to help people) but because this gy belongs to a "group" everyone should honor him & "help" him.
I am just a Mom, married 30 something years to a man who as a teen lost his leg, I loved him no matter, no matter his alchohalism, drug use (pot) but we settled down had our first son he quit drinking & we loved our son then worked over time forever, both of us for many years we bought our first brand new car & then our first home in 1989 then worked more years & was able bu then for me to stay home with my second son 14 years later because we were responsable.
Plans did not work as we thought when we bought our first little "fixer upper" now 24 years later we are still there, husband is disabled now I am depressed from losing that first born son almost 3 years ago & don't have a job & our second son now 19 has autism. Where is help to help 1 single family? because we don't lose our home over a tornado, hurricane, flood or because we were irresponsible & bought more than we could afford?
Where are those "groups?"
When did the battle for equality & against racism go from the "fight" to the "group"? when did Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton become the object?
When did it go from the cause of women s rights to "feminists?"
When did it go from all those generations of men & women who fought for this Country because the Country was the focus to building homes, taking jobs from others to give to them & on & on, I am personally involved in this yes they deserve respect but what happened to the original purpose? you go, you get paid & you do your "job" yes it is a dangerous job but......now these guys "volunteered"  for it, our Fathers & Grandfathers did not, most were drafted & still honored the lost by not talking of it.
Education......it used to be the cause was the kids.....now we honor poor teachers who teach because they love kids....excuse me? they have jobs for life, they get paid for 8 months maybe of work, they have pentions for a life time & health care, while every year they teach less & less. the union bosses fight to take more from government which we pay for & they are millionaires themselves, kids are less educated in schools that are no more than cattle grounds falling apart, dangerous & being forgotten about.
Where is fairness? not just for me or my family, but for those countless people, kids, 911 families? don't even go there, honoring the firefighters (yes they deserve recognition) but what of the college student on a plane? the stewardess? the students that witnessed it? just seems that if you have a "group" to cling to you have a "cause".....just my pity me day I guess.