I tried begging we got internet back this week just so I could do a "campaign for Indieogogo or whateve, spent hours writing about my loss and crying so much I have a head ache & I couldn't "go live" I am so spent emotionaly I can't write it again or even try now I can't get into the site cause pass word don't work.
Church people don't return calls & it's not because they don't like me.....many things going on with people & some I won't ask 2 times to let me "talk" you know it, I have fought not to give up for so long now, today told husband I needed to check out mental help today .....he had nothing to say so I checked online & i don't think they will take me without charging me & we just can't afford any more bills.
I checked suicide hot lines but don't want to talk all this out on a cheap cell which is all I have & can't find where I can "chat" online with one.
Think God is telling me it is my time, He wouldn't leave me to wallow in this pain alone for this long. & I rarely swear publicaly or so badly but you know what f*&%$ this world, I tried so hard to stay for my son but it just is too much & to see people ignore me, my family, my "friends" & my husband & I can't wake up in this house any more.
Wow had a nap felt bad about cussing had to change it & reading this again I will be seen as "the boy that cried wolf.....
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