plans

I can't believe I am saying it but I have made the plans & feel better already, I have posted to twitter, face book emailed Christian radio, Keith Ablow & local tv stations & nothing, no response I have tried ton get "my story" out I know there are plenty of people in this world that would donate but I just can't seem to get people to "share" my needs & I can't continue waking up every day with nothing to look forward to but sitting & eating & crying all day.
I lost 13 lbs but just got more mail with 15 hundred due in August for taxes 600 same month for house ins & expecting our car ins bill this month.
I don't care really about those bills we are charging everything but with that I know we will never get the money together to move & I can't live there any more so & I am battleing the need to have a cigerette again it has been almost a year, I quit when husband quit working we can't afford his habits so that was just one more thing I gave up, but we are too old to think that with living on ssi we will ever be able to afford to move so I am done maybe will have a smoke in sept & enjoy my last month here.
Will leave a note for hubby to post & send obit to all those people I asked for help from, I know it's mean but I don't really want to go yet my son needs me but Ijust can't deal any more, he will be hurt but he will go to my sister, he is 19 & we are living on his ssi, he gave upo his phone internet & our home phone & is down to 2 pairs of jeans & one has the but torn out so he coverd it with duct tape, he is a good kid & wants out of our house just as much as me so this way at least he will get out.